A Dive into the Heart

I don't write poems. They are not my strong point. This is my first attempt at doing one seriously. Please be honest, even if it is brutal.



A Dive into the Heart*

This thing I feel,
Is it real?
I was empty before,
Now I am filled.

I wonder of truth,
of sooth.
How I should react,
I play.

When I am torn asunder,
Sometimes I wonder.
Would it be too much to say,
"I love you?"

My heart aches,
It breaks.
I am overwhelmed,
I drown.

Even now these thoughts crowd my head,
Where once I wished I was dead.
I did not want to care,
I cannot stop.

Please don't push me out,
I feel doubt.
The accuracy of your words,
Your sayings.

All I have is my heart,
I do not know where to start.
I once hid,
I say no more.

I hope, I wish, I desire.
I care, I cherish, I lo...

*This title is based off of the Kingdom Hearts "Dive to the Heart".

First off, I adore the title. KH is always a great thing to reference in poetry and I've referenced the wonderful Disney/Square game myself a number of times. I love your particular quote you chose though. It's gorgeous.
In terms of technicality, your heart-centered imagery is exquisite and the AABC rhyme scheme is ambitious and pulled off flawlessly. Seriously, I have to applaud you as that rhyming scheme is a definite hit and miss; I normally find it difficult to use myself but you used it like an expert!
Is this REALLY your first attempt at poetry? *finds it hard to believe*

In terms of the poem's content, I find this piece incredibly beautiful and heartfelt. I can empathise with it quite easily and I really like the powerful feelings that you convey alongside a tone that is so vulnerable and uncertain. I find that usually when people write "love poems", they talk about feelings of love with either such gusto and passion that they seem a bit overbearing or with such ambiguity that they are nearly impossible to relate to.
You on the other hand, write in a way that is both incredibly...real and also beautifully lyrical. You're a natural poet of the heart, Daniel!
I particularly adore the final line. Once again, there's a certain beauty to the uncertainty and I'm not sure whether or not this single comment gives the poem the praise that it deserves...but it is a seriously AMAZING piece of poetry and that you should definitely write more.

Thank you Lore. Yes, this really is my first attempt at poetry that I can remember. I have, on very rare occasions, made up a poetic line or two in my head, but this is the first time I actually sat down to write out what I was thinking.

There was one thing that made this easier for me to write. I will place it below in a spoiler in case anyone on here is like my (super-crazy-but-cool) lit teacher and they prefer to draw their own conclusions about a poem and don't care what the author's thoughts are.

Spoiler:

Ah, I see. I gathered that it was drawn from your own feelings.
I write from my own feelings too. Even if it's complete fantasy, you can bet that some element of the poem is from a shred of my own emotions.
I really do love this poem...and I really have/do felt/feel the same way...

And WOW, this is actually the best first-timer poem that I've EVER read. No lie.