PrologueFaces
=============
When I go hunting for the monster at night, the emptiness of the world reflects the emptiness of my head, I know that the darkness, and the loneliness of it all should make me feel, I know that it isn’t normal to wander alone at night, but I’m never really able to put my finger on which of the many emotions would be found there, perhaps Ill know when I find the monster, perhaps all that I’m missing will come back then. The empty journeys to nowhere, the silent solemn ventures that I put myself though to find the monster and all the truth that it hides pass from one to the next uneventfully, its only at dawn, when I’m returning to my hotel room and the people with their servants first emerge from their houses that the world begins to move again. That the ticking on the clock that’s on the tower begins to turn faster than the clock that’s in my mind and all the gears of the living, working city begin to turn.
It is on these occasions, these glimpses in to the world of those that allow the monster’s work to continue. As I walk across their streets, where all their money is earned, where all their business is done and all their servants gleefully spring to do what ever it is they asked them to. In a way it’s the only time I have to see the expressions, the ones Ive come to mimic when ever I can find a similar situation, little by little I learn to act before bed, learn to at least look like I should. What seems like ages ago I got more than my fair share of acting lessons. It was during one of those rare times I dozed off on the hunt and woke up in the middle of the day, only to return to town in a time I don’t belong, in the thick of that endless play of talk, expressions, opinions, apologetic masters and blissful slaves that make up the complex web of the world I no longer fit in to.
I hitched a ride form the field I had rested in, having tried to make myself bait for the monster as I sometimes do and the hay cart dropped me off in a bustling village that I had never seen before. It should come as no surprise by now that I did not feel any more out of place than usual, just the same listless tension of being somewhere that values something I no longer understand. It was near the outskirts of this place that I heard them, sounds that I had learned do not belong outside, and especially not near strangers. The high pitched wails and sniveling, unappealing sounds that show one has forgotten themselves in the sea of irrationality that I have come to miss, the tide called sadness that, like the monster makes people forget that they have a face to keep up.
It didn’t take long to find the cause of the noise, the mismatched cloths and unkempt hair as much of a tell tale sign of who she was as the scar like markings on each cheek beneath her eyes. A rewritten, and one who had been rewritten for some time. She was young but not so young to act so childishly as an ordinary person, but as a rewritten the lack of restraint was to be expected. I knew it was normal to express concern, a normal person would ask her what was wrong, and so I did as well, trying to make my face appear as it should, would lowering my posture be the way to approach her, or would it be better to appear sad as well? She was more trusting than non rewritten people, and perhaps more than others like her, she looked up at me though her mess of black hair and tears and said simply “I’m crying because I’m scared…” I asked her why, as a concerned person would and she responded more easily than I expected “what if… he gets hurt?” now I began to ask questions, who was going to do what? My act becoming easier as I became immersed in the roll “Sano… he wants to fight the bad people” her language was simple and so very broken, the subtleties of communication long since eaten by the monster but the ‘me’ I was acting as played his part flawlessly.
I asked if this Sano was her name giver and she nodded very enthusiastically, then I asked her where he was and it was as if the weight of the world were suddenly dropped on her with a stunningly painful realization, she began to fret and fidget and said “hes… back home and I… ran here… oh no… oh no… oh no…” she began to weep again and the part I was playing called for light, soft tones and gentle reassuring lines as I offered to lead her back. She nodded and quit her crying, she was like all rewritten to eager to trust, to eager to allow others to decide things for them, to afraid of the decisions they could no longer face and so it was they she led me in leading her back, to a larger villa house with a windmill next to it, she was now hiding behind me, clinging to my jacket with her eyes shut hard. Then I met him, a well dressed, well groomed but worried looking young man with lavender hair and lilac eyes who seemed very surprised to see me, this man looked at me and asked who I was, and in that moment I remembered that I did not have a name. Looking around I spotted a haystack and remembered vaguely an expression about finding a needle in one, not to unlike the searching I was now doing in my head and suddenly, abruptly I said “Needle…” he looked at me quite confused for a moment, and in my haste I realized that was the wrong line for my part and tied to take it back “I mean… Justin…?” the words weren’t coming as easily around someone with an unscarred face, and he had now noticed my disheveled looks, my dirty cloths and my scar and perhaps put two and two together, being rather sharp himself. His voice was slower and gentler now, which left me unsure how to feel again as he said “okay… well Justin, have you seen a girl around here? Long black hair… about this high?” in the back of my mind I begun to find myself uncertain and unable to tell how he might be feeling, how to respond and how to act but mention of the girl roused me from my deliberations.
I then turned to show him the rewritten I had found, who upon sight of her name giver was overcome with feeling, the expressions of remorse, fear, sadness and love all in her face, things I had come to recognize as she threw herself down and pleaded “please Sano! Please don’t get hurt! I promise Ill never leave again just don’t get hurt!” the last word being drawn out and made heavy, shaking with tears as I begun to wonder if I could ever cry so convincingly. Sano’s face gave a better performance than mine had in sympathy and I took note of how to act, how to slowly approach the crying person with a quiet, soft tone in your voice, how to relax your brow and keep your eyelids steady. I watched it all as he said “Nagi… don’t worry, I know you ran away because you were scared but listen to me, I want to become someone who can make the world a better place, someone who can keep people like you safe, but that doesn’t mean I wont be careful, Nagi Im always careful” She sniffled, something I could only do with a cold and said “p-promise?” Sano petted her head gently moving her matted hair out of her soft, tearstained face “yes, I promise” and then Nagi, in a show of the unwavering faith all rewritten people have in their name givers smiled and hugged him securely, as if all the sadness had not happened at all, as if the scene that had unfolded had just been a rehearsal that had suddenly ended.
Sano looked up at me and said “thank you for finding her… she was upset because Ive decided to become an investigator for the police force…” then he reacted to my gritty appearance as many people did, as was natural and said “Are you hungry? Would you like to come inside for a while?” Inwardly I wanted to correct this flaw in his performance and tell him that I wasn’t homeless, that homes are for people who need to hide from the dark but I thought better of it and humbly accepted it, as the role of the unkempt drifter dictated that I do. Inside I found that the house was empty, a welcome change from the busy streets of the town Nagi and I had lead each other though on our unscripted journey but this was also out of place. Sano sat me down at a long table and said “your probably wondering how it is that we live here alone, well I don’t mind telling this to you… my family was always well off… and until recently I had never questioned that… but one day I found out where it was coming from, the day my older brothers tried to enlist me in the family business…” he shuddered “the things we did… the people we were hurting, all those things I never knew, I couldn’t be a part of that, I wouldn’t be a part of that! I had always been taught to do the right thing, and I made a choice… I went away for a while… and found Nagi, finished school with her help and then found out that my family had been brought to justice and so I legally came in to possession of the house and… well here we are” Nagi came in with a hot meal, something that I had forgotten to get myself for a while, now better off looking with a warm smile on her face and her hair finally out of her eyes.
I ate while talking with Sano, I explained to him that we weren’t so different, that we both wanted to defeat evils, that I wanted to kill the monster. This came as a surprise to him, or at least seemed to as he said “the monster… to the criminal justice system represents reform, though I don’t agree with it criminals are often… left out for it and become rewritten as law abiding servants, but I believe that practice doesn’t address the problem, I believe people can honestly change with out the monster wiping away all that they are… that its wrong to just feed them to the monster to satisfy ourselves” then it was quiet for perhaps a bit to long and he said “when I’m an investigator, I’m not just going to learn the means and motive… Im going to try and learn all that led up to the crime, and try to find a way to reform the offender in punishment for the crime, rather than turn them in to someone they’re not” finally I finished eating and asked him a serious question, where were these people left out for the monster and did the monster come there every night? He looked at me, perhaps worried and said “you really go out at night don’t you?” I wasn’t sure what to say but he kept talking “threes a prison not far from this town… on the other side of the river that runs north of here but don’t you think the monster will just erase you with the criminals?” I tanked him for the meal and stood up saying that, it was a risk I had no problem taking. As I went to leave Nagi looked up at me and asked “Mister… your gonna be careful too right?” I left saying simply “Ill do what I can”
The walk along the river was so unlike my nightly walks, every step a new window in to how people looked, the crowded pathways got thinner and less and less crowded till I came upon the prison, at dusk I stood before the large square building with three posts behind it, on which were tied three men as the sun set. The first man shook and shivered uncontrollably, a mess of fear and trebling, gaunt with straw colored hair the second man had a smug look about him, fat and oily and the third, a bearded red headed man seemed oddly at peace, the lest in character of the three prisoners left for the monster. “w-w-who are you?!” wailed the first man “doesn’t look like no monster to me” dismissed the second as the third remained silent. I explained that I was not the monster, but that I was a man who had come to fight it and the second man laughed “well then if your really here to fight it I’ve come up with a way to beat the thing” he waved his hand under his restraints, on which “Howard” was written “I’ve marked my name on me, so that when I’m rewritten Ill be my own man! Vie got nothing to worry about!” The first man shivered and spoke to him candidly “your wrong! The monster is going to be here and when it comes you’ll forget what those letters even mean! I’ve seen it, Ive seen the blank slates try to read, they don’t always know how! I’m going to be a rewritten!” he said, hopelessness echoing though him, the second man scoffed “what do you know? I’m not gonna take this lying down, no sir I’ve got it figured out and aint no one gonna tell me any different” the second man was angry now “s-shut up! Just shut up! Your not in control anymore, don’t you get it?! This monster is bigger than all of us and you know it! You’re a control freak who abused his children but Im innocent! I don’t want to forget my wife… I don’t want to forget my friends…” The third man actually began to chuckle, how unfitting for the scene he was.
The second man bellowed “Franko’s right Yori, no one buys that innocent crap here, not even the new guy so just go back to your blubbering, hell at least the old man’s quiet!” the sun was setting now and even Howard seemed to worry, none of them belonged in the dark and they knew it but Franko didn’t seem to tremble, perhaps he was like me, unchanging. Hours passed, but nothing happened the monster never came but this didn’t seem to calm Yori, who jumped and cried out at every little noise and movement in the dark. Howard spoke to me now “so new guy, you some kinda monster hunter or what?” I responded to him while keeping my eyes peeled for any movement in the darkness and explained myself, that I was a half eaten on a mission to reclaim myself from the monster and Franko suddenly spoke for the first time, his voice showing his age “I have quite a lot of experiences, met quite a lot of people… all of which will be gone soon, but never have I heard of someone like you stranger” he was so calm, so like me in his lack of fear, did he know something that the others did not? Yori must have been thinking the same thing as he called to him, the wind picking up “how can you be so calm about that? Is there something you want to forget so badly?” Franko smiled and said simply “Yori, if you have a problem you can fix there is no need to worry” Howard snickered “and if you have a problem you cant fix there is no point in worrying” Yori stopped short, his trembling slowed “if Ive learned one thing in sixty seven years its that”
More time passed, and soon we heard something, something in the distance total and mighty rolling across the empty sky along the wind, a deep rustling in the reeds a sound coming closer like the very limited time itself, quiet but resonant, merciless, unwavering and gloriously fearful, now all three seemed frightened of the fate they were to meet, but I merely readied my pistol. “Yori Peter Slipscom… Yori Peter Slipscom… Yori Peter-” Howard, perhaps in his fearful state interrupted Yori “What the hell are you doing?” Yori stuttered “Im repeating my name! So maybe one of you will remember it… he’ll eat my past and my feelings but just leave me my name! its… its all anyone ever has!” Howard laughed, devoid of even a little sympathy for he whom which he shared a fate “we’ll you should have thought of that before we were tied out here, like me because now its all going to be over for you…” Franko seemed now to be saddened “I… I will miss that summer… when I worked in the pawnshop as a boy… Ill miss that clock… the one with the little parade of solders and farmers that came out every hour… I think it was what started it… my stealing…” he was an old man lost in his past, as all old men are to be.
Then the rustling stopped, had it just been the wind? Had it the monster seen me and decided to leave? All the same more hours passed and eventually the sun rose, all three men asleep and myself exhausted, I left before the guards would come to take them away only to do it the next night, I had learned so much that night about expression, more than I ever really wanted to. I had learned so much that I decided to leave the prison, and continue my more quiet, night time journeys the ones I had come to prefer. On my way back I stayed with Sano and Nagi again, and that evening when Nagi was asleep and Sano was watching me leave he said “Justin… was a very good choice for a name, good luck sir” I was surprised at how he had deduced my well guarded secret after such a short time but I only smiled and stole away in to the night, to the hunt once more.
Next --> 
Wed Dec 29, 2010 4:03 am