One Piece RP - Race to the Grand Line
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One Piece RP - Race to the Grand Line

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 The Elements

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WatersCalling
Gael
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Gael
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Gael


Posts : 3372
Join date : 2009-11-12
Age : 30
Location : I am at a place... doing stuff... with things.

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PostSubject: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 02, 2011 12:12 am

Four little limericks:

Fire
Burning fire, blazing bright
Bathing us in glowing light
Warmth and life you have freely given
With scorching light, and purpose driven
Pierce the curtain of eternal night.

Wind
Rushing wind, blowing free
Blasting ‘round them and me
Your temper varies: I have seen
You rend a home with a scream
Yet you sing and dance with every tree.

Water
Flowing water, ‘round the bend
From deathly thirst you kindly send
Through your roads many merge to one
As you so do, once river’s course is run
May your glorious gifts never come to an end.

Earth
Stalwart earth, forever well
Hoarding life in every dell
They will say you’re empty, cold and dead
The never see the things you’ve bred
They do not know the stories you could tell.
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WatersCalling

WatersCalling


Posts : 412
Join date : 2011-05-12
Age : 29
Location : British Columbia, Canada

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 02, 2011 2:12 am

HEART!

TOGETHER I AM....

CAPTAIN PLANET!!!!!
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Layman Iconoclast
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Layman Iconoclast


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Join date : 2008-07-01
Age : 32
Location : I am everywhere I see everything

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 02, 2011 2:31 am

that aside I think your poems are lovley Geal Smile
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Gael
Admin
Gael


Posts : 3372
Join date : 2009-11-12
Age : 30
Location : I am at a place... doing stuff... with things.

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 02, 2011 12:09 pm

Shaddap, Waters.

Thanks, Admin.
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nikz200

nikz200


Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 02, 2011 11:15 pm

Very nice Gael
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Newspeak

Newspeak


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Join date : 2010-05-17
Age : 41
Location : Who knows?

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeWed Jul 06, 2011 9:17 am

Fire kinda reminded me of the poem Tiger by William Blake.

Altogether, pretty good. Overall, I liked Wind best.
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LoreleiMaiden

LoreleiMaiden


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Join date : 2011-06-19
Age : 31
Location : That place between somewhere and nowhere...

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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitimeSat Jul 09, 2011 8:42 pm

Oh wow, didn't know you wrote poetry.
I must say that your style is exquisite. I have to admire the Limerick A,A,B,B,A rhyme scheme. It keeps the metre nicely upbeat and flowing but doesn't take away from the dramatic imagery by any means.
Love the lyrical personification too, particularly at the end of "Wind." There's also a sense of dedication and praise in each of the short poems too, which I also liked-("May your glorious gifts never come to an end").
Fire has to be my definite favourite though- ("Pierce the curtain of eternal night"- stunningly striking). Earth was a good one to end with though; particularly as the ending of the final stanza is so mysterious and let's the reader think about what stories the earth actually might know.
What's best about these poems though, to me, is that you've taken each element and sculpted each of these forces of nature into your own characters, subtly giving them each their own "personalities" and describing how they interact with us mere mortals.
Overall, great work!
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PostSubject: Re: The Elements   The Elements Icon_minitime

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