Yuki (deleted)

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Is this wip? It doesn't seem quite done yet...

If it's not, here are some things:
There's lots of open questions in the history. For example: Why did the burglars take her in? Burglars aren't generally nice people...
Or, more importantly:

Quote :

But she was captivated by her family's machine, they took the sword and her necklace ...

I don't really get that...
Please elaborate and add more detail.

Also, what do things like:

Quote :

Lyssna
Läs fonetiskt
Ordbok - Visa detaljerad ordboksubstantiv0.CAREER

Quote :

which she gjömde in...

Or the word "Ochs" mean?
I'm not a native speaker, but I'm pretty sure they're not english... Which is a shame, I'd like to know what they mean.

Other than that... check grammar, especially gender forms (only use she/her, etc for a girl).

I'm not sure if Kunais need approval, but I'm just going to let that slip as they are basically the same as other throwing knives.
But what is with that one special technique: Lions song. It lacks description.

(It'd also be much appreciated if you could add some writing to appearance. Only a sentence or two. For example: we can't see her boots, what do they look like? What does that dress look like from the front? Or... does she have an alternative outfit?)

Otherwise, I have no problem approving, since this seems rather cute...

Sorry, I fix it in a minute.

How about now?
and sorry for befor i used google translating since i'm not so 100% at english yet i still studies it alot in school.

and Och means "And" in swedish.

Lions song still needs description (advice: never use google translate. Look up another translate site, google makes a lot of mistakes).
I was thinking you were still learning, and this is a good way to actually do it. The more you use english and have to understand it, the better you'll get.
Oh, and if you feel the need to add something, just edit (the button is above your post) your last post and don't add new ones, since it's considered spamming and is against the rules. You can start posting in new ones again when someone else posted before you did.

How about now? i need some time to describe the Lions song.

Oh, take all the time you need. I'm pretty sure I won't have resigned by the time you're done.

There now it's finished.

I don't particularily find copying and pasting great, but it's just one attack after all, and I did want an explanation.
Add something written to appearance please?

oops i forgot the appearance sorry...

No problem, happens.

There, and i come up with more Techniques later meanwhile i rp.

APPROVED. Just remember to get reapproval whenever you come up with something new for her.

Okey, i will remember that and thank you^^.

added some items which is pretty normal for a ninja to have except the mouse part.

What effects do the gas bombs have?
How strong are the explosives?
How strong is the sleeping gas (how many posts would the user sleep)?
And lastly, are there any weaknesses/special things about them (like size, colour, design etc)?

There.

Put it in posts please (f. e.: the flash bombs would last one to two posts before the opponent could see again).
I find it curious that drinking water would save you from choking, it shouldn't even get into contact with the iar passages...
Would the one in contact with that gas definitely die if unable to get any water?

How about now then.

Smoke bombs still need a post time limit.

How about now then...

REAPPROVED

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