| | Jakin Storm(Deleted) |  |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| Subject: Jakin Storm(Deleted)  Wed Jul 28, 2010 12:13 am | |
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Last edited by 9thKing on Mon Oct 18, 2010 3:11 am; edited 11 times in total | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 2:19 am | |
| Done (i know the history sucks) | |
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Layman Iconoclast
Admin
Posts : 10667
Join date : 2008-07-01
Age : 32
Location : I am everywhere I see everything
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:02 am | |
| wow your ability description specifically mentions the don who used this fruit, if you going to steal at least do it right  | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:11 am | |
| sorry  | |
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nikz200
Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:38 am | |
| hahahahaham, rookie mistake | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 4:28 am | |
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nikz200
Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 5:15 am | |
| The history is too short, but thats not the main problem, where is the personality? expand on both a bit please | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 4:19 pm | |
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nikz200
Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:25 pm | |
| you do realise, if he is a marine he cant have a bounty? | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:31 pm | |
| sorrry i thought i took it off | |
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nikz200
Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:01 pm | |
| your appearance is also too short, try to add facial features and skin tone as well as a bit more detail, do that then i can approve you | |
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9thKing
Posts : 993
Join date : 2009-12-06
Location : Under Your Bed
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:15 pm | |
| ok i added tell me if i need more | |
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nikz200
Posts : 7605
Join date : 2010-02-19
Age : 34
Location : Malaysia
| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:22 pm | |
| this all seems acceptable, although im not sure how your atsu atsu Gatling works, but still, its all borderline ok. So
APPROVED | |
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| | Subject: Re: Jakin Storm(Deleted) | |
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| | Jakin Storm(Deleted) | |
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